Wild, Free, and 4 Years Old | A Letter To My Birthday Boy

On Sunday, Tucker turned four. I wrote him a letter just as I’ve done every year since his birth. Maybe this blog will be a time capsule of sorts when my boys are older. Or maybe my letter will make you smile as you thinking about your own little one. Regardless, I hope my letter will bring Tucker joy. Enjoy.

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Hello Professor Poop Poop. The 3 year old you thought anything poop or fart related was hilarious. LOL. How can it be that four years ago you entered this world? Four years ago I became a Mother? Four years ago, God planned for your April Fool’s Day arrival. He knew no other day would be more fitting for my little comedian.

You are always trying to make me, Daddy, and Tate laugh. You love to tell silly jokes, make funny faces in the mirror, and bust out goofy dance moves. You’ve got some wicked break dancing skills for an untrained dancer. You love to sing and rhyme and play. Every day you seek adventure. You are a fearless leader and make friends with everyone. You are so incredibly smart. You try so hard to read and are eager to learn. Always asking questions and taking in the world.

You are strong willed, but also kind. Every morning when you wake up you climb up into my arms, give me a big hug and a kiss, and say, “It’s morning time Mommy”. You giggle as you kiss your brothers face and snuggle up on Daddy’s chest. When I ask you what you dreamed about, you always say, “You”.

You sure know how to melt a girls heart. You get that from your Daddy. You hold my door wherever we go and say, “Ladies first”. Then, you smile proudly as I walk by. You love to pick me flowers on our walks, hold my hand, and snuggle. On my most exhausting, frustrating or even just mundane days you catch me off guard when you smile sweetly and say, “Mommy you are beautiful”. My eyes swell with joy at your sweetness.

You, my little wild child, are a beautiful gift. I am so very much in love with you, little man. You make Daddy and I so proud. I can’t wait to see what joy and laughter this year brings. Don’t lose your silly side, my love. Hold on to your sweetness too. The world needs more beautiful souls like yours. So shine bright, baby doll, and spread that light wherever you go.

I love you to the stars and back.
Mommy

The world needs more beautiful souls like yours.

One Year Of Loving You: Letter to my baby on his 1st birthday

Today my baby turns one. I wrote him a letter, so we both could remember what a special time this first year of his life has been.

Tate,
You are asleep on my chest. I run my fingers through your curls and listen to you breath. Your tiny hand holds me tight. I am in awe of you. My heart swells with love for you. That mischievous smile. Those curious eyes. Your laugh. I wish I could bottle up the joy I feel when I hear that playful giggle. My heart needed you. Our family needed you. This world needed you.

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One year ago, I couldn’t begin to imagine what life would be like as a family of four. I didn’t know how hard it would be adjusting to our growing family and my ever expanding heart. I couldn’t comprehend loving another child as much as I loved your big brother, Tucker. I was afraid how he would react to you. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to give you both all of me. I was afraid of the unknown. But despite my fears, I knew in my heart you were someone special. I could feel your light radiating from within me. I could sense your sweetness. I could feel a calm within, even in the chaos of my ever wondering mind. We prayed for you. Waited for you. Dreamed about you.

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You entered this world with such ease. I was shocked at how quickly you were born. You were ready. You are always ready. Fearless, full of life and wonder. You shine with a holy glow. I can feel God’s favor on you. The moment I laid eyes on you a new chamber of my heart burst open with love.

I am in awe of you. Your curiosity for the world around you. Your excitement to learn and grow – and mainly catchup with your brother. The gentleness of your heart, and the fearless drive you carry. You, my beautiful boy, are everything and more than what I could have ever dreamed.

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I blinked and a year flew by. Your first smile, laugh, crawl, steps, and words, all feel so new and exciting but also so far away. But if I close my eyes, I can hear that first cry. I can see the sparkle in your blue eyes from when our eyes locked for the first time. My heart remembers the exact moment and feeling when it opened up completely to you. In my mind, I can stop time and visit every milestone. I can feel the pride and excitement in watching you grow and the subtle sadness of seeing my baby begin to transform into a little boy. I wish sometimes I could make time stand still so I could love on you without distraction. Soak you up completely.

So tonight, I won’t close my eyes just yet. I will try my best to hold onto this moment with my baby in my arms. I will listen to you breath, feel the weight of your body on my chest, hold on to your tiny hand, and pray you never let me go. I will lay here and do my best to soak you up. I will give you all my love and thank God for not stopping time and for letting me watch you grow. I will let my heart go back to those special moments you have given me, but I will pray for the ones that are yet to come.

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Happy Birthday Baby boy. Mama loves you oh so very much.

 

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Dear Boys, Mommy has no idea what she’s doing

Hello My Sweet Boys,

I want to let you in on a secret. I have no idea what I’m doing. Loving you comes without effort. It is just like breathing. No one had to show me how to breath, because it was something I was made to do. Just like loving you, I was made to love you. The raising you part, that’s a little tricky sometimes.
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You may find it hard to believe, but I’m still a work in progress. I’m finding me, while helping shape you. I don’t always know what to say. I don’t always know what to do. I sure as heck have no clue how to get you — TUCKER! PHOENIX! WYRICK! — to eat anything besides cheeseburgers, french fries and ranch. I’m trying though.

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Everyday, I’m trying my best to show you a world filled with love.

I do my best to keep magic and wonder alive. I do my best teach you about kindness and respect. I do my best to play. I try to let go of my grown-up responsibilities and enjoy these special moments with you without distraction.

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You are both growing bigger everyday. This exhausting, confusing, frustrating, overwhelmingly wonderful time is fast fading. You won’t always need my kisses to make you feel better. My cuddles won’t be the only way you can fall asleep. You won’t always reach for my hand, ask for my help, or just want to be with me and only me. You will grow strong, confident and independent.

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Each day I do my best to help you grow into the incredible young men I know you were meant to be. I want you to know I may not always get things right. I will make mistakes, lose my temper, get overwhelmed, and exhausted. I won’t always know what to do, but I will always know how to love you. I just breath you in.

Loving you forever,
Mommy

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A letter to my toddler on his first day of school

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A scuba diver” you proudly proclaim.

The fact that you don’t know how to swim hasn’t crossed your mind. The details to any destination never deter you. You don’t care how we get to our adventures, you are only concerned with how soon we can get started. Always waiting with bright eyes and anticipation for what new fun is waiting up ahead.

You are a dreamer. Together we get lost in pirate ship explorations across the living room. We escape Charlie Monster chasing us, hide in blanket made forts, and always find an excuse to bake cookies or dance. We tell stories together every night and at three years old you still like to fall asleep in my arms.

You are my baby. Always. You are the boy who made me a Mommy. As you grew bigger, I grew stronger with a newfound strength and love. I teach you new things everyday, but you too are a teacher to me. You’ve taught me to seek fun in the mundane. To be patient. And just when I think I’ve mastered patience, you yet again test me. You’ve awakened the child in me with your playfulness. Your innocence reminds me to see the good in everyone and everything.

For almost three years my days have been consumed by you. Together we conquered countless playground, museums and Starbucks. It was you and me kid. Everyday. Then God gave us a new partner in crime. A mini version of you and your Daddy. You fought for my attention at first, but now it seems I sometimes am fighting for yours.

In the mornings, instead of kissing me first you sneak over to your brother for cuddles. You smile proudly each time you make him giggle. After you eat breakfast you go to your toys now instead of to me. At the playground you no longer need me to entertain you. You make friends with everyone you meet. These moments remind me of words from strangers when I used to carry you as a baby on my hip. “Cherish these moments because you will blink one day, and your baby will be grown”.

I’m proud to have given you confidence to fearlessly take on the world. I giggle with pride each time I hear you lost in play, knowing I helped awaken your imagination.  Every time you help your brother, Daddy, friend or even a stranger, I know that it is the kindness I’ve shown you that hopefully you will continue to show others.

Tomorrow you start preschool. My throat grows a knot just thinking about it. As I write this I take a slow breath to slow down my mind. You are ready. You are excited. I, on the other hand, will take a little longer to adjust.

Tonight I’ll hold you closer. I’ll breath in your toddler smell, soak up ever snuggle and kiss, and I’ll watch you drift into your dreams. In the darkness, I’ll still see my baby who somehow overnight has grown into a little boy. I’ll wipe a couple tears from my cheek and silence my wandering mind. I will lay with you in the darkness as if I can somehow slowdown the morning light.

Tomorrow, you will take your first steps in the world without me. You will learn, play, laugh, get frustrated, happy and do a million fun new things. I will learn to live with my heart outside of me. The time will feel too short for you, but the seconds will drag on like hours for me. Over yogurt, I’ll ask you about your day and soak up the moments that I missed.

Tomorrow you start preschool, and even though you don’t yet know how to swim, I know that won’t stop you from diving right in.

I love you,

Mommy

@theletteringlatina Sign

@spottedw Romper

@pukupals Backpack

@gapkids Tucker’s Outfit