I am my worst enemy


I don’t know about you, but when the dishes and the laundry pile up and the dogs won’t stop barking and my kids won’
t stop fighting; there is a voice that taunts me in in the chaos. It’s my own.

I’m the worst

I’m a failure

“I’m a terrible Mom

These are just a few of the lies I tell myself. I beat myself up when I’m tired or frustrated. I kick myself when I’m down, and I go for the jugular, clinging to my biggest insecurities. Only recently have I started to take notice to the daily abuse I inflict on myself.


I speak affirmations over my children. When they get mad, lose their temper, or act out, I make them say, “I am kind. I am brave. I am strong. I can do hard things.”

I remind them of their greatness when they feel weak, scared, or overwhelmed. I will say to my four year old, “You are so smart” and instead of shooting my compliment down he will say, “I know Mommy.”


He owns it. Embraces it even. Yet, if my husband calls me beautiful, I roll my eyes or point out my dirty hair, tired eyes, and worn out sweats.

If I create a fun activity for my kids and another Mom sends me a sweet message, I immediately feel the need to respond with what a mess I am and that I don’t have this whole raising kids thing figured out.


I’m not writing this searching for complements or affirmations. I’m writing this because I know I’m not the only villain in my own story. I see my beautiful friends. I watch them juggle impossible schedules, family, and work. I see their greatness, and I hear them speak of what they perceive as failures. They see their messy house, rambunctious children, dirty clothes, and laundry list of things they never get time to accomplish. But I see powerful women. I see them as the glue that holds their families together. I see loving supportive wives and mothers. I see hard-working boss babes.

Today, talk to yourself the way you would a toddler. If you lose your temper, remember the root of you is good and kind. If you are afraid of the “what if’s”, remember YOU ARE BRAVE. If you are exhausted and the day feels like it will never end, tell yourself YOU ARE STRONG. If you feel overwhelmed, know YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.


Love yourself the way you love your child. Be gentle with your heart. You too are learning and growing.


You are kind.

You are brave.

You are strong.

You can do hard things.

I’m A Mother, What’s Your Superpower?

I am sitting on my couch in a living room covered with toys. I’ve surrendered my impulse to pick up the mess and let my children play. My dogs WON’T STOP BARKING.

I am sitting on my couch in a living room covered with toys. I’ve surrendered my impulse to pick up the mess and let my children play. My dogs WON’T STOP BARKING.

I’m writing this blog on my phone hoping I finish it before my kids realize I’ve sat down for a second. My husband is out of town for work, so I’m on a solo mission to survive the kids and dogs without help until he returns. That’s one of the downfalls of being in a big city with no family nearby. When my husband leaves town it’s just me and the kiddos.

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Single parents I don’t know how you do it. You have superhuman strength. This is a strength that mothers know well. It is a power we may not appreciate or even acknowledge. Truth is, moms are superheroes. We may not fly around in a cape and tights, but each day we fight the good fight.

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Often battling our minds more than our children, we question our decisions, beat ourselves up over the little things, and don’t give ourselves enough credit. We have the power to cry silently. Exhausted, broken, sick, or hurting, we muster the strength to smile, play, and care for our families. We give our all while sacrificing ourselves in the process. Surviving on sandwich crust, coffee, and wine we face meltdowns with patience and humor…sometimes. Our lips can heal booboos and our voices soothe the angriest toddler, and our arms bring comfort and refuge with just a hug.

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We have the strength to carry two sleeping kids and groceries up a flight of stairs without waking either child. We can ninja roll away from their beds in perfect silence, unless a squeaky toy alerts our escape. We can stop a child in their tracks with one earnest stare. Our sleeves have wiped away tears and boogers. We have wiped too many butts to count. Even taking on the stinkiest diaper explosions. We’ve been thrown up on, peed on, coughed on, and loved on by our children.

We have crossed hot lava, taken many trips across the ocean with pirates, and even traveled to the moon; all without leaving the comforts of our living room.

We love our children unconditionally. Sometimes we want to Hulk smash the piles of toys scattered around our messy homes, but we would feel lost without the chaos and wonder our children bring. We may not feel strong when we sneak away to cry, but Mamas, I hope you know that — even on the toughest days — you are a superhero. Keep fighting the good fight. You may not be saving the world, but you are the world to your children.

xoxo,
Tami

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How to be a Mommy

How to be a Mommy – Whether you are expecting your first child, in the midst of the chaos of chasing little ones or in an empty house where your children have grown, you may still be wondering what the heck you are doing.

Whether you are expecting your first child, in the midst of the chaos of chasing little ones or in an empty house where your children have grown, you may still be wondering what the heck you are doing.

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Do you breastfeed, bottle feed, co-sleep, sleep train, cry it out, vaccinate, baby wear, homeschool, private school, spank, be permissive, authoritative, or a friend? How young is too young for screen time and how much screen time is too much? Do you go sugar free, gmo free, dairy free? Is it normal to be this tired, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed? Can my heart literally explode with love? The list goes on and on, typically at night, on repeat. Daily.

I question what the heck I am doing. I replay the could haves, should haves, and what ifs. I have done things I said I’d never do; like give my kid a freakin Happy Meal because he “REALLLLY” needed one. I’ve gone against advice of people I respect, because despite what they say, my gut tells me something different.

I have discovered that there is no right way to raise a child. Life isn’t a one-size-fits-all lesson that parents can pass down to newbies when they are exhausted, frustrated, or in need of advice. Every child is different. Every parenting style unique. While parenting books, articles and blogs can bring perspective and insight to areas of parenthood, they are a tool to help guide you, not an instruction manual that will explain parenting step by step.

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Being a Mother is trusting yourself and what YOU think will work best for YOUR family and children. Will you do things you never thought you’d do? Yes. Will you get overwhelmed? Lose your temper? Beat yourself up? Yes. And that’s ok.

I have two bits of advice for you to consider:

  1. Stop comparing yourself and children to other families.
    Things that work for others won’t work for you. You were made to raise your babies in a way that no other mother would know how to. It is your arms, kisses, and voice that can bring comfort to your children. It’s your silly dances, spontaneous adventures and outlook on life that will help shape them into who they are meant to be.
  2. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
    Everyday isn’t instagram perfect. Who cares if you have piles of laundry, a messy house and didn’t have a chance to shower let alone put on makeup? I don’t. I get it. I’m with you. No one is perfect.

Being a Mommy means sacrificing daily, loving unconditionally, and living and breathing for your children. You are doing your best and that’s all that matters. You don’t get sick days, vacation days, and can’t play hooky from being a Mom. You are wanted, needed and most importantly loved, always. Cut yourself some slack. Raising humans is hard.

You are wanted, needed and most importantly loved, always.

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Hey Mama’s, This Ones For You

Dear Mamas,

I just want you to know I am thankful for you. For the silent sympathy as you pass me and my screaming toddler. For the smile you gave my baby while lost in a memory of your own, who is now grown. Thank you for the text, the calls, and play dates. Thank you for helping me at the airport, grocery store, or playground, because you once juggled the chaos of young children and adventure. Thank you for raising children to be good and fun.

“Thank you for not taking yourself too seriously and reminding me to do the same.”

Thank you for putting your family first and doing your best, even when you don’t feel like it. Thank you for drinking wine and coffee and making me feel normal for needing them. Thank you for understanding every challenge, triumph, laugh and tear that comes with the title of being a Mom.

I just wanted to thank you for being you. You are amazing. You are beautiful. Yes, even with dirty hair and no makeup. You girlfriend, are a one-of-a-kind masterpiece chosen to take on a role in your child’s life that no other person was created to do.

“God chose you. He knew you were up for the challenge”

He knew how strong you are. He knew you could carry an overflow of love for your children and survive with your heart outside of your chest. He knew the sacrifices you’d make. The nights you’d lay restless and the days consumed by exhaustion. He knew the lessons you’d teach and the ones you’d learn.

“The day we became Mothers, we joined a secret sisterhood. A special bond that only Mamas understand”

I’m grateful for you. I may not know you, but I appreciate you. For Thanksgiving, I wanted to say thank you for all you do. I partnered with some amazing shops to celebrate one lucky lady. Checkout my Instagram post @tami_farrell  for rules and entry. Winner will be announced on Thanksgiving.
x,

Tami


Special Thank You To Our Instagram Giveaway Host

@wellsaidcreations

@thehopecandles

@elorainspired

@theletteringlatina

@spottedwboutique

@cutiepatootieart

Dear Boys, Mommy has no idea what she’s doing

Hello My Sweet Boys,

I want to let you in on a secret. I have no idea what I’m doing. Loving you comes without effort. It is just like breathing. No one had to show me how to breath, because it was something I was made to do. Just like loving you, I was made to love you. The raising you part, that’s a little tricky sometimes.
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You may find it hard to believe, but I’m still a work in progress. I’m finding me, while helping shape you. I don’t always know what to say. I don’t always know what to do. I sure as heck have no clue how to get you — TUCKER! PHOENIX! WYRICK! — to eat anything besides cheeseburgers, french fries and ranch. I’m trying though.

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Everyday, I’m trying my best to show you a world filled with love.

I do my best to keep magic and wonder alive. I do my best teach you about kindness and respect. I do my best to play. I try to let go of my grown-up responsibilities and enjoy these special moments with you without distraction.

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You are both growing bigger everyday. This exhausting, confusing, frustrating, overwhelmingly wonderful time is fast fading. You won’t always need my kisses to make you feel better. My cuddles won’t be the only way you can fall asleep. You won’t always reach for my hand, ask for my help, or just want to be with me and only me. You will grow strong, confident and independent.

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Each day I do my best to help you grow into the incredible young men I know you were meant to be. I want you to know I may not always get things right. I will make mistakes, lose my temper, get overwhelmed, and exhausted. I won’t always know what to do, but I will always know how to love you. I just breath you in.

Loving you forever,
Mommy

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COME ON, KID! THIS IS YOUR DREAM!

I am hours away from my 33rd birthday. The “little kid” version of me would be shocked we’ve become so old. By now, I should be living in my life-sized Barbie dream mansion and cruising in a ’66 mustang convertible.

I should be known around the world for my successes as a supermodel/actress/singer and married to JTT. At least that’s what MASH predicted and who am I to argue with fate?

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I’m not mad that I don’t have a mansion. I still dream of a cherry red convertible ’66 mustang with white leather interior. I’ve found successes in pageantry, some small acting roles and modeled for some campaigns and magazines in my 20s. I even recorded some music and even lived in Nashville for a hot second.

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I out grew JTT. Literally. Jennifer Blight got all my posters and Teen Bop magazines in fifth grade when I realized I was taller then my childhood crush.

My dreams have changed a lot over the years. I have changed a lot. My priorities have shifted to my best friend and our two little boys.

Life and all its responsibilities sometime distract us from the dreams we hide inside our heart. Tiny roadmaps to adventures untold and dreams waiting to be awoken.

I used to think I was racing against time to find myself. I needed to be a star by my 20s or I’d never get another chance. Marriage was career suicide and having babies would mean my dreams would need to be sacrificed to help give them a chance at finding their own. I’m realizing now that I will never find myself completely or accomplish every dream.

How boring would life be if we sat and settled, rather than running in the race of life?

I am constantly evolving and so are my dreams. I hope to spend my life chasing the ever-changing desires in my heart and discovering who I will become. We are never too old or young to dream.

This year I wanted to give 32 year old me a shot at a dream I’d kept hidden. I wanted to prove to myself I was still fearless. I wanted to get out of my comfy jeans and curl my hair and feel brave and beautiful. I wanted to stop being selfless and be selfish. Because being selfish isn’t a bad thing. As a mom, we often put everyone’s needs above our own. We forget about ourselves when worrying about everyone else. For one night, I wanted to get back on stage, but in a world that thrilled and terrified me. I wanted to stand before an audience of stranger and see if I could make them laugh. I wanted to try standup.

My incredible friend Claire, her talented and encouraging husband Michael, and my wonderful husband all did for me what I try to do everyday for my children. They gave me a shot at my dream.

Don’t ever stop dreaming. Don’t stop chasing what scares you. Don’t disappoint the little kid inside of you. Chase after your future self. Be selfish every now and again. Don’t let another year slip by without glancing at that tiny roadmap in your heart, because you never know where it will lead you.

Xoxo,
Tami