Hey Mama’s, This Ones For You

Dear Mamas,

I just want you to know I am thankful for you. For the silent sympathy as you pass me and my screaming toddler. For the smile you gave my baby while lost in a memory of your own, who is now grown. Thank you for the text, the calls, and play dates. Thank you for helping me at the airport, grocery store, or playground, because you once juggled the chaos of young children and adventure. Thank you for raising children to be good and fun.

“Thank you for not taking yourself too seriously and reminding me to do the same.”

Thank you for putting your family first and doing your best, even when you don’t feel like it. Thank you for drinking wine and coffee and making me feel normal for needing them. Thank you for understanding every challenge, triumph, laugh and tear that comes with the title of being a Mom.

I just wanted to thank you for being you. You are amazing. You are beautiful. Yes, even with dirty hair and no makeup. You girlfriend, are a one-of-a-kind masterpiece chosen to take on a role in your child’s life that no other person was created to do.

“God chose you. He knew you were up for the challenge”

He knew how strong you are. He knew you could carry an overflow of love for your children and survive with your heart outside of your chest. He knew the sacrifices you’d make. The nights you’d lay restless and the days consumed by exhaustion. He knew the lessons you’d teach and the ones you’d learn.

“The day we became Mothers, we joined a secret sisterhood. A special bond that only Mamas understand”

I’m grateful for you. I may not know you, but I appreciate you. For Thanksgiving, I wanted to say thank you for all you do. I partnered with some amazing shops to celebrate one lucky lady. Checkout my Instagram post @tami_farrell  for rules and entry. Winner will be announced on Thanksgiving.
x,

Tami


Special Thank You To Our Instagram Giveaway Host

@wellsaidcreations

@thehopecandles

@elorainspired

@theletteringlatina

@spottedwboutique

@cutiepatootieart

Dear Boys, Mommy has no idea what she’s doing

Hello My Sweet Boys,

I want to let you in on a secret. I have no idea what I’m doing. Loving you comes without effort. It is just like breathing. No one had to show me how to breath, because it was something I was made to do. Just like loving you, I was made to love you. The raising you part, that’s a little tricky sometimes.
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You may find it hard to believe, but I’m still a work in progress. I’m finding me, while helping shape you. I don’t always know what to say. I don’t always know what to do. I sure as heck have no clue how to get you — TUCKER! PHOENIX! WYRICK! — to eat anything besides cheeseburgers, french fries and ranch. I’m trying though.

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Everyday, I’m trying my best to show you a world filled with love.

I do my best to keep magic and wonder alive. I do my best teach you about kindness and respect. I do my best to play. I try to let go of my grown-up responsibilities and enjoy these special moments with you without distraction.

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You are both growing bigger everyday. This exhausting, confusing, frustrating, overwhelmingly wonderful time is fast fading. You won’t always need my kisses to make you feel better. My cuddles won’t be the only way you can fall asleep. You won’t always reach for my hand, ask for my help, or just want to be with me and only me. You will grow strong, confident and independent.

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Each day I do my best to help you grow into the incredible young men I know you were meant to be. I want you to know I may not always get things right. I will make mistakes, lose my temper, get overwhelmed, and exhausted. I won’t always know what to do, but I will always know how to love you. I just breath you in.

Loving you forever,
Mommy

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COME ON, KID! THIS IS YOUR DREAM!

I am hours away from my 33rd birthday. The “little kid” version of me would be shocked we’ve become so old. By now, I should be living in my life-sized Barbie dream mansion and cruising in a ’66 mustang convertible.

I should be known around the world for my successes as a supermodel/actress/singer and married to JTT. At least that’s what MASH predicted and who am I to argue with fate?

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I’m not mad that I don’t have a mansion. I still dream of a cherry red convertible ’66 mustang with white leather interior. I’ve found successes in pageantry, some small acting roles and modeled for some campaigns and magazines in my 20s. I even recorded some music and even lived in Nashville for a hot second.

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I out grew JTT. Literally. Jennifer Blight got all my posters and Teen Bop magazines in fifth grade when I realized I was taller then my childhood crush.

My dreams have changed a lot over the years. I have changed a lot. My priorities have shifted to my best friend and our two little boys.

Life and all its responsibilities sometime distract us from the dreams we hide inside our heart. Tiny roadmaps to adventures untold and dreams waiting to be awoken.

I used to think I was racing against time to find myself. I needed to be a star by my 20s or I’d never get another chance. Marriage was career suicide and having babies would mean my dreams would need to be sacrificed to help give them a chance at finding their own. I’m realizing now that I will never find myself completely or accomplish every dream.

How boring would life be if we sat and settled, rather than running in the race of life?

I am constantly evolving and so are my dreams. I hope to spend my life chasing the ever-changing desires in my heart and discovering who I will become. We are never too old or young to dream.

This year I wanted to give 32 year old me a shot at a dream I’d kept hidden. I wanted to prove to myself I was still fearless. I wanted to get out of my comfy jeans and curl my hair and feel brave and beautiful. I wanted to stop being selfless and be selfish. Because being selfish isn’t a bad thing. As a mom, we often put everyone’s needs above our own. We forget about ourselves when worrying about everyone else. For one night, I wanted to get back on stage, but in a world that thrilled and terrified me. I wanted to stand before an audience of stranger and see if I could make them laugh. I wanted to try standup.

My incredible friend Claire, her talented and encouraging husband Michael, and my wonderful husband all did for me what I try to do everyday for my children. They gave me a shot at my dream.

Don’t ever stop dreaming. Don’t stop chasing what scares you. Don’t disappoint the little kid inside of you. Chase after your future self. Be selfish every now and again. Don’t let another year slip by without glancing at that tiny roadmap in your heart, because you never know where it will lead you.

Xoxo,
Tami

Just say YES!!!

The moments that tend to scare us are the ones that build, strengthen, and define us. Chase that feeling. Seek it. Find it. Welcome it.

The moments that tend to scare us are the ones that build, strengthen, and define us. Chase that feeling. Seek it. Find it. Welcome it.

I met my wife, Tami, at Abercrombie & Fitch. It was the first place I worked when I moved to Los Angeles. I walked in, went straight to the counter, and asked the beautiful blonde behind the counter, “y’all hiring?”

She said, “yes!”

That was the first time that she said yes to me, but when she told me that she was the manager and that I was hired, she actually didn’t have the authority to do so.

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I still laugh at that moment, because that’s the woman I fell in love with, and it’s still who she is today. The one who isn’t afraid to have fun. The mother who teaches our kids every day how to laugh, dream, and seek adventure.

The good news is I still got the job, but the even better news is that she continued to say yes to me. Yes to adventures. Yes to fun. Yes to marriage. Yes to family. Just yes.

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She has taught me a lot of lessons over the last 12 years of our relationship (and 7 years of marriage). She’s taught me patience, compassion, loyalty, bravery, commitment, love – all things I thought I knew, but she proved there was more. That we can all search deeper within ourselves and demand more.

The lessons of our marriage have taught me how to succeed in life and in love. You have to be willing to say yes to the things that scare you. Not that she was scared of me, but maybe that she was scared of falling in love or me not being who she saw at first. The point is – The moments that tend to scare us are the ones that build, strengthen, and define us. Chase that feeling. Seek it. Find it. Welcome it.

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My incredible wife, Tami, has encouraged and driven me to say yes to opportunity – to always follow my heart and gut. I can promise you that every opportunity I’ve been afraid of that she’s pushed me to has paid off. Being a naïve 20 year old led me to her, but once I found her, I knew I would never let her go.

Below are my vows from our wedding. These words have never wavered in 7 years, and I intend to lead and also follow her in this incredible life that we have for decades to come. I love you, Tami, and I am so grateful for the lessons you’ve taught me and how to be a better husband, father, and friend.

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“Tami, I remember the first day that we spent together. Standing at the front of the store as people walked by us, we were talking about our dreams, our friends and family. Your passion for all of these made me fall in love with you and I continue to fall in love with you every day. And here we are now, in front of our friends and family with nothing but our dreams.

You have become not just my lover and companion but my best friend. Today, in front of God and our loved ones I vow to be the man that you fell in love with. I promise to love and cherish you, to keep you close and with faithfulness, to always support and encourage you in your career, to make you laugh and hold you when you cry. I promise to be a loving and nurturing father and a man of God. I promise to hold you to the highest respect and honor you as you deserve, and continue to be your best friend for the rest of our lives.”

I love you forever, Princess.

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7 years and counting…

“That’s him. He’s the one I’ve been waiting for.”

This morning you woke me with a kiss, the same way you have for the past seven years. You said, “Happy Anniversary”, and I smiled and looked at you with sleepy eyes and asked if our life was what you imagined it would be. We both laughed.

The day I met you my heart recognized you. It whispered to me, “That’s him. He’s the one I’ve been waiting for”. We were just a couple of kids with big dreams and an unapologetic love. We grew up together…I mean, we are still growing up together.

When we promised to stand side by side together in life, we knew it wouldn’t always be easy or fun. We couldn’t have imagined the tears life would bring, or dreamed of the love and laughter we’d share.

My heart didn’t think I could love you more, yet everyday you find new ways to show me it can.  I get lost sometimes in being a Mommy. The hand you use to reach for is now being held by five chubby little fingers. The Kisses I freely gave to you often now are used to heal boo boos on our active toddler or cover the face of our smiling baby. I’ve traded sexy lingerie for oversized tshirts and your old sweats. Our bed is now full of puppies and babies. Our days are spent in different worlds. Mine is filled with diapers, dancing, and make believe, while yours is hard at work toward your dreams and our future.  Instead of spontaneous weekend getaways or romantic dinners, I’m thrilled just to snuggle up beside you on our couch and watch an uninterrupted episode of Master Chef.

When I stood in front of our family and friends seven years ago today and promised my love to you for a lifetime, I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I knew what love was. You’ve showed me that love is ever changing. Our hearts continuously growing. Love is more than flowers, date nights and romance. Love is choosing everyday to put someone else’s needs above our own. Love is seeing the best in someone even when they are at their worst. Love is waking up everyday next to your best friend. It is seeing the person you fell in love with in the faces of our children. It is crying so hard you can’t breath and trusting your partner to catch your tears. Love is laughing with every part of your body. It is silly songs and inside jokes. Love is feeling home when wrapped in your arms.

This morning I asked you if our life is what you imagined it would be. I laughed because it is beyond anything I could have dreamed. Happy Anniversary. I love you.

T

Dreaming Without Sleep

On any given night, you can find me restless and twisted in a pretzel shape, clinging to the edge of my California King bed, and buried under a pile of cuteness. On my feet lies…

On any given night, you can find me restless and twisted in a pretzel shape, clinging to the edge of my California King bed, and buried under a pile of cuteness. On my feet lies our toe biting chihuahua, Buttercup. Stretched horizontally across the bed with his head rested on my hip, leg, or arm, is my sleep talking – sometimes walking – toddler. Snuggled close to my chest with his arms and legs wrapped around me tight is my night nursing infant with his two new razor sharp teeth.  

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In the distance, I hear a familiar sound. It is the gentle sound of someone breathing. The sound of rest. Sleep. Somewhere on the far side of the bed, my husband sleeps peacefully with his legs stretched comfortably and his mind turned off of the night. His arms are wrapped around a pillow, where not long ago I once laid. 

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I look across our bed full of babies, and I smile at my sleeping man. One day soon, I will again be wrapped in his arms asleep. My toddler will soon be a boy who will want to sleep in his own room and my infant will grow to big for my arms and instead sleep comfortably in his own bed. My 12 year old chihuahua will one day not be there to bite my toes when I stretch my legs. My California King bed will one day not feel so small.

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As I lay here twisted on my side, covered in sleeping cuties within an arms reach away from the love of my life, I will say a simple prayer of thanks for a life I never dreamed and don’t know how I deserved. I will cherish my crowded bed and my overflowing heart. I will be grateful for the restless night knowing I get to soak up the quiet moments of my babies growing while they sleep. Tonight, I may be restless but that’s ok when real life is better than my dreams. 

xoxo,
Tami

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A letter to my toddler on his first day of school

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A scuba diver” you proudly proclaim.

The fact that you don’t know how to swim hasn’t crossed your mind. The details to any destination never deter you. You don’t care how we get to our adventures, you are only concerned with how soon we can get started. Always waiting with bright eyes and anticipation for what new fun is waiting up ahead.

You are a dreamer. Together we get lost in pirate ship explorations across the living room. We escape Charlie Monster chasing us, hide in blanket made forts, and always find an excuse to bake cookies or dance. We tell stories together every night and at three years old you still like to fall asleep in my arms.

You are my baby. Always. You are the boy who made me a Mommy. As you grew bigger, I grew stronger with a newfound strength and love. I teach you new things everyday, but you too are a teacher to me. You’ve taught me to seek fun in the mundane. To be patient. And just when I think I’ve mastered patience, you yet again test me. You’ve awakened the child in me with your playfulness. Your innocence reminds me to see the good in everyone and everything.

For almost three years my days have been consumed by you. Together we conquered countless playground, museums and Starbucks. It was you and me kid. Everyday. Then God gave us a new partner in crime. A mini version of you and your Daddy. You fought for my attention at first, but now it seems I sometimes am fighting for yours.

In the mornings, instead of kissing me first you sneak over to your brother for cuddles. You smile proudly each time you make him giggle. After you eat breakfast you go to your toys now instead of to me. At the playground you no longer need me to entertain you. You make friends with everyone you meet. These moments remind me of words from strangers when I used to carry you as a baby on my hip. “Cherish these moments because you will blink one day, and your baby will be grown”.

I’m proud to have given you confidence to fearlessly take on the world. I giggle with pride each time I hear you lost in play, knowing I helped awaken your imagination.  Every time you help your brother, Daddy, friend or even a stranger, I know that it is the kindness I’ve shown you that hopefully you will continue to show others.

Tomorrow you start preschool. My throat grows a knot just thinking about it. As I write this I take a slow breath to slow down my mind. You are ready. You are excited. I, on the other hand, will take a little longer to adjust.

Tonight I’ll hold you closer. I’ll breath in your toddler smell, soak up ever snuggle and kiss, and I’ll watch you drift into your dreams. In the darkness, I’ll still see my baby who somehow overnight has grown into a little boy. I’ll wipe a couple tears from my cheek and silence my wandering mind. I will lay with you in the darkness as if I can somehow slowdown the morning light.

Tomorrow, you will take your first steps in the world without me. You will learn, play, laugh, get frustrated, happy and do a million fun new things. I will learn to live with my heart outside of me. The time will feel too short for you, but the seconds will drag on like hours for me. Over yogurt, I’ll ask you about your day and soak up the moments that I missed.

Tomorrow you start preschool, and even though you don’t yet know how to swim, I know that won’t stop you from diving right in.

I love you,

Mommy

@theletteringlatina Sign

@spottedw Romper

@pukupals Backpack

@gapkids Tucker’s Outfit