Whether you are expecting your first child, in the midst of the chaos of chasing little ones or in an empty house where your children have grown, you may still be wondering what the heck you are doing.
Do you breastfeed, bottle feed, co-sleep, sleep train, cry it out, vaccinate, baby wear, homeschool, private school, spank, be permissive, authoritative, or a friend? How young is too young for screen time and how much screen time is too much? Do you go sugar free, gmo free, dairy free? Is it normal to be this tired, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed? Can my heart literally explode with love? The list goes on and on, typically at night, on repeat. Daily.
I question what the heck I am doing. I replay the could haves, should haves, and what ifs. I have done things I said I’d never do; like give my kid a freakin Happy Meal because he “REALLLLY” needed one. I’ve gone against advice of people I respect, because despite what they say, my gut tells me something different.
I have discovered that there is no right way to raise a child. Life isn’t a one-size-fits-all lesson that parents can pass down to newbies when they are exhausted, frustrated, or in need of advice. Every child is different. Every parenting style unique. While parenting books, articles and blogs can bring perspective and insight to areas of parenthood, they are a tool to help guide you, not an instruction manual that will explain parenting step by step.
Being a Mother is trusting yourself and what YOU think will work best for YOUR family and children. Will you do things you never thought you’d do? Yes. Will you get overwhelmed? Lose your temper? Beat yourself up? Yes. And that’s ok.
I have two bits of advice for you to consider:
- Stop comparing yourself and children to other families.
Things that work for others won’t work for you. You were made to raise your babies in a way that no other mother would know how to. It is your arms, kisses, and voice that can bring comfort to your children. It’s your silly dances, spontaneous adventures and outlook on life that will help shape them into who they are meant to be.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Everyday isn’t instagram perfect. Who cares if you have piles of laundry, a messy house and didn’t have a chance to shower let alone put on makeup? I don’t. I get it. I’m with you. No one is perfect.
Being a Mommy means sacrificing daily, loving unconditionally, and living and breathing for your children. You are doing your best and that’s all that matters. You don’t get sick days, vacation days, and can’t play hooky from being a Mom. You are wanted, needed and most importantly loved, always. Cut yourself some slack. Raising humans is hard.
You are wanted, needed and most importantly loved, always.